we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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