You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
