oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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