I'm laying in your front yard are you home
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize