Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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