And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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