My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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