I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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