hotel room ftw
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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