Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
