That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Randomize
