We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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