if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
