the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
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come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
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He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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