gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
