Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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