I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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