i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
