dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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