i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
