i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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