We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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