Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
