i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
