it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
