He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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