NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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