There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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