i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
