try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
