I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
