google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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