I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
my being single is dangerous.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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