Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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