Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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