i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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