Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
