At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
