Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
someone owes me an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize