Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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