We're facebook friends in real life
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize