so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
