yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
