we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She told me I should be a condom model.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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