it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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