Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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