so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
