i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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