Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
