I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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