Yo dont text me then not text me
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Randomize
