I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
