the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
