I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Randomize
