He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize