ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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