i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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