Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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