I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
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In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
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I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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