I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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