I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
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