Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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