I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
