i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
